This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
