Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize