Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
