you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
