Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
