Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
