he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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