Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
