You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
