I heard we made out
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
