goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
