I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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