too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
