Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
