he thought i was a dude.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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