Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
