So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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