i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
