kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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