thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Blood and glitter go together right?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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