I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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