Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Come on in and take your pants off
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