did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
