sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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