We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
