A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this will be a night to untag.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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