Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
