i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
