Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
