The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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