I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
