i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We left an ass print on the piano.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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