so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
