I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
