remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Farmville is her only friend.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
