I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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