At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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