I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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