Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize