Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
is that a dick in a sweater?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
