Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
