so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
