you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
