dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
