mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Im part way to drunk.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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