I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
