Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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