Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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