"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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