Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
