He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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