so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
