seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
