Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
