remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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