Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
