My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize