if i can run in heels then i can drive
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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