i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
